In this article we will continue our discussion regarding The Treatise of Rights by Imam Zayn Al-Abidin (AS). We will discuss the Right of the Sitting Companion. Regarding this, the Imam (AS) has said:

And the right of your sitting companion is that you should treat him gently, warmly welcome him, be fair while talking with him, do not take your eyes off of him when you are looking at him, and pronounce your words clearly to help him understand what you say. And if you are the first one to go and sit with him, you can leave him when you wish. However, if he is the first one to come and sit with you, he can leave you when he wishes to. And you should not leave him without his permission. And there is no power but in God.

What is meant by “sitting companion” is friends or associates, be their friendship short-lived or for a long time. Whoever becomes our companion has certain rights incumbent upon us. Men of all ages at all times need companions since man has an instinctive desire for social living. Man suffers from loneliness. He would become happy if he has a good associate or friend.

It is an aspect that we come across daily; it is within our human nature to form these bonds. Without them individuals seem to have a lack of confidence or trust in themselves. It is people that we meet at work, school, or through our day that we eventually regard as friends.

Humans are social creatures by nature; they're always in need of friends and companions. Most of our lives depend on interaction with others. Strong individuals are the core of a strong community, something that Muslims should always strive for.

Each person’s friends and associates have a great influence on his personality, worldly and religious affairs. Friends affect our behavior and the many aspects of our lives. This effect can be either positive or negative. This is so important that the Noble Prophet of God declared one of the criteria for each person’s personality to be that of his friends. He said: “It is a great tragedy for one not to have any good friends.” Imam Ali said:

“When one loses his own sincere friend whose friendship with him was for the sake of God, it is as if he has lost one of his body parts.”

From the saying of the Imam we can clearly come to conclude that friends are extremely important in one’s life.

So on what basis do we choose a friend? Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) who has the most noble character and dealings with fellow humans gave us a very clear and simple message and advice in regard to friendship. We should always attach ourselves to people who bring us closer to God, and the Ahul-bayt, and to people who believe in them, and obey their orders. And we should stay away from who is not well mannered and gives no attention to what Islam is about or what pleases or displeases Allah (SWT).

Regarding the way to choose a good friend, Imam Sadiq said:

“Whoever gets angry with you thrice, but does not say anything bad about you - take him for your friend.”

It is through friendship that we please Allah and enter heaven, and it’s through friendship that we displease Allah and enter Hell. In today’s society we have heard many stories regarding this topic. Many well-mannered and behaved teenagers have gone astray because of the crowd they surround their self with. In an authentic Hadith, Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) said: "Man is influenced by the faith of his friends. Therefore, be careful of whom you associate with."

Over time an individual specifically a teenager will be affected by the actions of his or her friends, whether it was positive behavior or negative behaviour.

When choosing our friends we should ask ourselves first: Are they going to help us achieve the purpose for which we were brought to life? Or will they take us away from it? Will they desire for us Allah (SWT)'s pleasure or is that completely irrelevant to them and not their concern at all? Are they leading us to Paradise or to the Hell?

These are all questions we should ask our self before choosing a friend. Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) was asked, "Who is the best among people?" Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) replied, "He who, when you look at him, you remember Allah (SWT)". Such a friend reflects qualities of love, mercy, honesty, service, patience, optimism, professionalism, and the entire lifestyle taught by Islam.

A friend is someone who should add positivity in your life, and encourage good values in you. A friend should speak up when you’re doing something wrong, the Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) stated, "The believer is like a mirror to other believers (in truthfulness)." Like a mirror, your friend gives you an honest image. He forgives your mistakes, but does not hide or exaggerate your strengths and weaknesses.

Regarding this Imam Sajjad said to his children:

“Associate with the people of religion and recognition (of God). If you cannot find any such people, then solitude is more companionable and safer. If you insist on associating with people, then associate with the people of honor who do not utter unseemly speech in their gatherings.”

It is better that someone befriends someone who is better than them, so that they are constantly learning when they are around them. Imam Jafar Sadiq (as) says: "Be the friend of him who may grace you, not of one whom you are better than." Imam Jafar Sadiq (as) also says: "My most beloved brother is he who (makes me aware of) my faults."

Imam Sadiq said:

“Brothers are of three kinds. The first kind is like nourishment that we need at all times; the second is like a disease, and they are the foolish ones. The third kind is like the remedy, and they are the intelligent ones."

Imam Sadiq quoted on the authority of his grandfather on the authority of the Prophet of God :

“Associating with the following three groups of people will make your heart perish: sitting with ignoble ones, conversing with women and sitting with the rich.”

In another tradition regarding associating with the rich, Imam Sadiq said:

“Do not sit with the rich. For a servant sits with them and he is aware of the blessings God has bestowed on him, but he rises up thinking that God has bestowed no blessing on him.”

In another tradition, we read that the Noble Prophet said: “Do not associate with the dead! They asked him: “O Prophet of God! Who are the dead?” He replied: “They are the wasteful rich, who are delved in the material life of this world and unaware of God. They see everything as wealth and money.”

Such people do not have a living heart. Thus, the Prophet considers them to be like the dead. Associating with the dead will result in the perishing of one’s heart. That is why it is forbidden by the Prophet of Islam . In Sifat ash-Shia Sadooq - may mercy be upon him – has quoted Imam Baqir who quoted on the authority of the Commander of the Faithful :

“Associating with wicked people will result in one being suspicious of the good people. Association of the wicked people with good people will result in them becoming good people. Association of good people with the sinners will convert them into sinners. Then if you are in doubt about someone and do not know the degree of his attachment to the decrees of religion, look at his friends.

If he associates with religious people, then he is a follower of God’s religion. However, if he associates with people who do not follow God’s religion, then he has not benefited from God’s religion. Indeed the Noble Prophet of God said: One who believes in God and the Resurrection Day shall not fraternize with an unbeliever or associate with an immoral person. Whoever fraternizes with an unbeliever or associates with an immoral person is an unbeliever and immoral.”

Therefore, a friend should be a blessing not a source of trouble and hardship. They should always remind you of Allah and Ahlul-Bayt (AS).

To conclude when choosing our friends we should ask ourselves first: Are they going to help us achieve the purpose for which we were brought to life? Or will they take us away from it? Will they desire for us Allah's (SWT) pleasure or is that completely irrelevant to them and not their concern at all? Are they leading us to Paradise or to the Hell?

Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (as) narrates from his father who said, "O my son don't befriend five types of people:

1. Don't befriend a liar (Kadhib). For a liar is like a mirage. He shows the distant as near and the near as distant. He will always deceive you and trouble you.

2. Don't befriend a transgressor (Ghasib). For he will forsake you for a paltry sum and make your sins appear very alluring to you. He will make you a victim of Allah's chastisement through his petty sins and take you farther away from His obedience and satisfaction. He will make Allah's worship appear as His disobedience, and His disobedience as His worship. He will drag you along with himself in the fire of hell.

3. Never befriend a miser (Bakheel/Kanjus). For in your time of need and distress, he will withhold his wealth from you, while he is in a position to assist you. (He values his wealth more than anything else. And to that end he is prepared to forsake even his friends)

4. Do not befriend a fool (Ahmaq). For (in his foolishness) he will harm you while he intends to help you. (That is why it is said, 'A shrewd enemy is better than a foolish friend')

5. Don't befriend the one who breaks relations (with his relatives/Khata Rahmi). For, such a person has been cursed in the Noble Qur'an in three places. He is engrossed in his own affairs with scant regard for others. (Friendship with such a person will eventually lead the individual towards sins and disobedience of Allah)"