We often fall prey to negative thoughts when we rely solely on our feelings for validation and judgment. If psychotherapists had always believed in and relied on feelings, their research would have led us nowhere and we would not have found any real answers. When you find yourself in a troubling situation, take a step back and analyze the scene like a scientist. Imagine, for example, that your boss finds something wrong with an aspect of your work. And you jumped to the conclusion that you were about to be fired. You start by thinking logically. And to ask yourself:
● What evidence confirms/refutes what I am thinking?
● Do I focus only on the negative and ignore other information?
(The boss praised other aspects of the job, too.)
● Am I jumping to conclusions without looking at all the facts?
Then look for alternative explanations:
Are there any other possible explanations? (Is he just in a bad mood?).
Is there another way we can look at this?
● What would anyone else think if they were in this situation?
● Am I not flexible in my thinking?
Put your thoughts in the light of the future picture:
● Is it really that bad? What's the worst that could happen?
● How much worse could happen? And even if it did, would it really be as bad as I think? How can I get over the situation? (I am good at what I do, and the job market now prefers experienced employees, so I will easily get a new job.)
And remember, it was believed two thousand years ago that the Earth was flat. However, reaching the truth required a rational approach and the collection of all available evidence. Thus, you need to make sure that you do the required research when a negative thought discourages you.
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