According to the famous psychologist (Eric Erikson), the timeline of our lives includes the different and varied stages of progress, and each stage includes a (crisis) that must be resolved before moving on to the next stage. According to (Erickson), when children are in the first school years - approximately from the age of five to twelve - (crises) include building a sense of superiority and mastery by solving problems, achieving goals, acquiring skills, and feeling satisfied with what they have accomplished.

The school provides the ideal environment for the development of this type of proficiency. Every day, children face challenging tasks that must be completed before moving on to the next tasks. Their grades show how well they achieve their goals as they move from one class to another and continue to achieve their goals.

On a deeper level, a child who rapidly develops skills and abilities helps build his identity. For example, when a child consistently scores well on spelling tests, he is known as a "spelling genius..." and when he has read all the prescribed stories, his reputation as an "erudite" will spread. Over the years, children form groups of each other based on those unique identities, interests, and common abilities, and reading lovers join each other, exchange books and discuss them, and when children grow up, they become part of the larger social fabric based on their identities that they began to explore and build when they were young. We find that many reading lovers eventually study English at university.

With every task a child takes on, a goal comes, and with every goal comes effort, frustration, and perseverance. The term (achievement motivation) refers to the desire to continue and struggle to achieve a goal, and the level of this motivation varies from person to person.

Some people want to do the hard work that brings success and set a high level that they strive towards. When they are not successful in reaching their goal, they try harder or try different ways to reach their goal. For example, if they get a passing score with difficulty in a math test, they will increase the time and effort devoted to the math homework in order to get a better score in the next test, and they may resort to asking for help from the teacher or their parents, or they will consider resorting to the services of a private tutor to help them. To overcome the difficulties in the study material. On the whole, they feel that success is within their reach.

Other students do not have the same strong drive for achievement. Such people want success to come easily and give up when the difficulties they face increase, and this is known as the tendency of (acquired despair). Instead of thinking that they should try harder to succeed, we find them convinced that they are victims of fate when faced with obstacles. They assume that they will fail when faced with any challenge. After getting poor grades, they yell, "The test was so hard!" When they find themselves living in isolation from the rest of the children, they say, "Why do I stutter when I talk to other kids? They won't like me because I stutter." in the Speak). They believe that their problems stem from what they lack - ability, intelligence and talent - that their efforts are not enough to overcome their shortcomings and incapacities, and that they are denied the satisfaction that comes from doing a job well and from the success that one works so hard to get.

Unfortunately, shy children often embrace this approach, and instead of pursuing their goals while expanding their comfort zone, they give up, because they assume they will fail and believe in themselves that they will inevitably fail, and then they avoid challenges and withdraw into their zone. Their silent hardened rest. Instead of volunteering to talk in class, they avoid eye looks and discussion. Instead of asking for help with their homework, they lie in a state of perplexity. Instead of approaching a group of children more than once in the school playground, they assume that other children will reject them no matter how close they try. .

One of the university students I spoke with learned this method very well and said to me, “I found it easy not to draw attention to myself, but I also found myself questioning my thoughts and behavior when others saw me. Over the years, I avoided going to certain places and doing certain things so as not to make a fool of myself.” eyes around me.

This is why I often warn people against calling a child “shy.” Oftentimes, “I'm shy” is a great socially acceptable excuse to back out of new challenges: “I can't try that game—I'm shy!”), and then shyness and reluctance becomes a burden and a way to help, but not a smart way in the long run.