1- Give people the benefit of the doubt at first. When someone in your life comes to you to unload, lend them an ear. Resist the temptation to immediately write off their need to share everything that is bothering them as simple “drama” (which, obviously, we tend to regard as a “bad” thing). Even if the other person has a history of being melodramatic, appreciate the fact that this does not prevent them from experiencing genuinely crappy moments in life or needing real help from time to time.
2- Track how one person’s dramas affect you. When the same person comes to you again and again with one drama after another, ask yourself if this is acceptable to you. Share your own troubles with them to see if this is a two-way street or if they really only expect you to be an audience for their own woes. Take a step back and assess whether their negative attitude is infecting your own outlook. Count the number of times when their various dramas have led you into situations that you would have rather avoided.
3- Know when enough is enough. If you feel like someone else’s drama is impacting your own life negatively, consider your history with that person. Consider whether your involvement in their past dramas did anything to improve matters for them. If it has, weigh how committed you really feel toward this person, and whether or not you feel obligated to continue being a source of support for them. But if your participation in their drama doesn’t do them any good anyway, be assured that you can quit taking part in it without making things worse for them.
4- Draw a line in the sand. Refuse to participate in their dramas. If you wish to maintain your relationship, politely but honestly explain how all these dramas are really just polluting that relationship. Assure them that you wish to keep them in your life, but to do so; they need to keep their drama to themselves. Or, if you feel they can’t handle such upfront honesty, just refuse to engage in their dramas at all until they finally get the message and deal with them on their own.
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