3:43:40 
2025-02-13 
159
The bad news is that babies mostly want everything in sight.
The good news is that they are generally easy to distract during their first year of life. Appropriate infant discipline consists of giving direction and setting child-safe limits (hot! flames are hot) as well as protecting shiny, breakable objects.
Should your baby start learning the meaning of “no”? Sure, for emergencies. But her job is to explore, and that’s how babies learn and build smart minds. She needs to pull pots off the tray and put everything in her mouth. Babies who are told “no!” all the time have learned to think inside the box. Does that mean you should let her stick her fingers in the socket? Of course not. You’ll need to set limits to ensure her health and safety. But it does mean that protecting babies is better than trying to teach them boundaries at this age. If it’s dangerous—fire, for example—you can’t risk relying on a toddler following your boundaries, because she doesn’t yet have the mental capacity to understand what danger is. If it’s not serious, why fight about it? Either way, the answer is to protect and supervise your child, rather than punish transgressions.
There is growing evidence that temperament in infancy sets the stage for temperamental tendencies later in life. A baby who spends a lot of time being unhappy will develop a brain that is neurologically primed for unhappiness. When a baby is upset and doesn’t have anyone to help her regulate herself, her brain programs itself so that her “low level” of anxiety becomes higher, and she goes from calm to upset more quickly. That’s why we need to minimize our child’s frustration when setting boundaries. It’s essential that she has a comforting adult who listens to her, calms her down, and helps her shift gears: “I know you want that light, but that light is hot. Yes, you’re angry… I hear you… When you feel better.”
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