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Remember that they still need you
3:36:16 2023-08-29 1469

As your children grow out of infancy, they will need to depend on you less and less (and this is because you have been so successful in raising them). But, once in a while, they will need you for something; it may be money, of course, especially in their younger years. They may need advice from you, they may need your help with their children, or help with the garden, and they may want your opinion as a more experienced person on selling the house or writing a resume or buying a car.

In addition to that there are many intangible things; they still need to be accepted by you; maybe to see their new home, or to see the newborn baby, or to see the touring truck they bought. Although they want the same things from their other friends, it is not the same; when they were little, they used to make you see their drawings, or the sand castles they were building, or their new clothes. Now it's the same, but on a bigger level. They need you to tell them they're doing great (even though you won't let them admit that's what they really want - and neither will they).

 

They will also need you for the important stuff once in a while, of course; Such as being there for your daughter in case of sudden delivery, standing by for your son in case of divorce, helping your seriously ill son, or providing shelter for your daughter and her family after their home was flooded. In these cases your children need someone to throw everything in their hand and rush to help them first and then inquire again, and if you are a reasonable parent, they will know that they can count on you when things go wrong; And without fussing or complaining (or noticing guilt).

As Robert Frost said, "Home is the place where they must accept you, whenever you go," and that is what you need to provide for your children (with some enthusiasm). Excellent parents are always proud to be ready to help and support their children, and are happy to help in times of crisis, without complaining that their lives have been interrupted.

As your children grow up, they will visit you less and less, and they may not ask you for anything important for years or even decades. But do not be deceived and think that they will not need you after today, because this is not true; they will always need you. Just don't let them know you know that.

Foresight   2026-03-24
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