A mother may encounter various difficulties in raising and bringing up her child as he develops, but the degree of difficulty may vary according to the child’s personality. It is well known that two siblings may receive similar upbringing, yet their personalities can be completely opposite. Generally, a mother does not need much advice when her child is easygoing and cooperative.

However, she may sometimes reach a tragic state of nervous exhaustion because of the difficulty of her child’s behavior. If the difficult child is the type who cannot remain seated in one place and leaves his table because his attention is focused on something elsewhere, one should not assume that increasing the use of authority and discipline will bring him back to behaving sensibly. In some rare cases, a child may suffer from a disorder of the nervous system due to excessive excitability (hyperactivity), which does not immediately put his intelligence or development at risk, but may do so in the long term if it is not treated promptly. A child psychiatrist specializing in this field should make the correct diagnosis and prescribe the appropriate treatment, which, paradoxically, may sometimes increase the child’s agitation. Treatment requires parents to be present, adopt appropriate attitudes toward their child, and exercise considerable self-control.

An agitated child may be suffering from what is known as psychomotor instability (Instabilité psychomotrice), which may result from fear or anxiety. Such disturbances may appear, for example, when a child who is very attached to his mother spends his first vacation away from her:

• He will be unable to sleep well; rather, he may cry and become moody.

It is important, in exceptional cases, to be alert to the possibility that the child may have an underlying organic disorder (Trouble organique latent). Therefore, it is advisable to consult a doctor. A mother must never give sedatives to an agitated child on her own. Such medications are given to children only in very specific cases and strictly on the basis of a medical prescription; otherwise, their effect may be harmful. Although sedatives may eliminate a symptom, they do not remove the underlying causes of the disturbance. They may also cause the child to become accustomed to substances that affect his nervous system, whether through medication or through other drugs. Beware!

It is essential to respect the child’s appetite. He should be helped to eat and then left alone when he is full. There is no reason for anxiety unless a repeated and persistent loss of appetite is observed.

Loss of appetite appears in children at a relatively advanced age, around seven years old. This loss may be caused by a digestive-system problem that the parents have been unable to identify. It may also be due to a psychological cause of which the parents are unaware or which they have failed to notice. Children are more sensitive than parents imagine. The birth of a brother or sister may make a child feel insecure, as he may believe that he will no longer be loved as he was before.

Suddenly, he may lose his appetite. In such a situation, every medication may fail. The solution lies in restoring the child’s sense of security and trust. A mother’s love and tenderness are the most effective means of helping the child regain this confidence. It is enough for the parents to become aware of the problem in order to begin addressing it.

All the symptoms (behavioral disturbances) mentioned above can have negative effects if they are neglected. If a child who does not eat is left without attention, he may suffer from developmental problems. Prompt treatment of any of these problems is the key factor in preventing them from becoming deeply rooted. A mother may misdiagnose some conditions if she resorts to punishing her child instead of consulting a doctor, especially when the child is not performing well.

The answers to a mother’s questions may sometimes be very simple, but they may have escaped her consideration. A child who performs poorly at school for a reason beyond his control is by no means uncommon. In many cases, a decline in school performance at the age of seven or eight was caused by poor eyesight rather than difficulties at school or a refusal to make an effort. Some children may perform poorly at a particular school because of psychological difficulties resulting from emotional problems or because they are mentally unable to adapt to the type of lessons being offered to them. This does not necessarily indicate a lack of intelligence or a general inability to perform academically.

A doctor does not replace the mother or the parents in general. Medical treatment cannot substitute for a mother’s tenderness and love. These remain the best medicine for any illness. Consulting a doctor is simply part of a mother’s concern for her child. It can spare her a great deal of worry, especially now that child psychiatry and educational and vocational guidance have become specialized fields.

Presenting this problem does not mean that a difficult child will not have a successful future. History records many cases of children who faced great difficulties and later became counted among the geniuses. Albert Einstein is a notable example of a person with a difficult childhood. He was quick-tempered and aggressive. It is said that he was unable to memorize the multiplication tables until he reached secondary school! Yet what he achieved later is known to everyone.