To win our children's friendship and become trusted friends to them, there are several fundamental principles that successful educators and parents should carefully consider and strive to apply when dealing with their children. Most of these principles are derived from the educational approach of Ahl al-Bayt (peace be upon them), who emphasized that the best way to influence children is to accompany them, listen to them, and make them feel secure and confident. Among the most important of these principles are:

The Importance of Consulting Children in Building Their Personalities

When a person feels that their opinion is valued, their self-confidence grows, and they become more aware of their worth in the eyes of others. This applies to children and adolescents as well. Just as a person appreciates a friend who seeks their advice, a child or teenager feels important when their father or mother consults them. This helps them realize that they are an integral part of the family rather than merely someone who receives orders.

Therefore, parents and educators should treat their children as close advisers, giving them opportunities to express their opinions and participate in decision-making. This is reflected in the following prophetic tradition:

"The child is a master for seven years, a servant for seven years, and a minister for seven years. If his character is satisfactory by the age of twenty-one, then well and good; otherwise, he should be disciplined, and I have fulfilled my responsibility before Allah."

The final stage, therefore, is the stage in which parents treat their children as ministers whose advice is sought, rather than merely as followers who receive instructions.

Parents can gently demonstrate to their children that they value their advice by asking questions such as: "What do you think, my son? Should I buy a bouquet of flowers or a box of chocolates for my sick friend?" Or, "I have two important appointments; which one should I attend first?"

They can even consult their children about matters of religious significance. For example, a mother might say to her son: "My dear, I would like us to introduce people to the cause of Imam Hussein (peace be upon him). I am thinking of printing short leaflets about his blessed uprising. Do you have any other ideas that we could include?"

Even if such consultation seems simple, it makes children and adolescents feel valued and helps develop their sense of responsibility toward important issues.

Some parents and educators might ask: "But my child is still young. Does it really make sense to consult him?"

The answer is that both Islamic teachings and educational experts emphasize the importance of consulting children, not because they always have the right solutions, but because doing so develops their self-confidence and strengthens their relationship with their parents. Furthermore, discussions broaden their understanding and help parents recognize how their children think, enabling them to correct any misconceptions they may have.

We have an excellent example in the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him and his family). Despite being the most knowledgeable and wisest of all people, he used to consult his companions and wives. He did not do so because he needed their opinions, but rather to teach us the importance of consultation in building mutual trust and respect. Allah Almighty commanded him to do so in the following verse:

"And consult them in the matter." [Surah Aal Imran, 3:159]

This command established him as an example of consultation and respect for the opinions of others.

This is an important lesson for parents and educators. Consulting children gives them a sense of confidence and responsibility and makes them more open to dialogue. If the Prophet, despite being infallible, consulted those around him to encourage them and make them feel valued, then how much more important is it for us to do so when dealing with our children?

Simply asking a child or teenager, "What do you think about this matter?" or "How do you think we should solve this problem?" can make them feel important and more receptive to our guidance.

For example, if a mother says to her son, "My dear, I am feeling bored. What do you think I should do with my time?" he might give an inappropriate answer, such as: "Listen to music; you will feel happy."

In this situation, the mother should not dismiss his answer. Instead, she should use the opportunity to guide him gently by saying:

"No, my dear. How can I find happiness in something that displeases Allah? Did not the Imam (peace be upon him) say:

'In a house where singing is practiced, one cannot feel secure from calamity; angels do not enter it, and supplications are not answered there.'

True happiness, rather, comes from remembering Allah, as He says:

'Surely, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find comfort.' [Surah Ar-Ra'd, 13:28]

Therefore, I am thinking of reading the Holy Qur'an, reciting some supplications, or even seeking the intercession of Ahl al-Bayt (peace be upon them), for remembering their hardships makes all our sorrows seem lighter. Did Imam Ali (peace be upon him) not say:

'Remembering us, Ahl al-Bayt, is a cure for illnesses, ailments, and the whispers of doubt.'

The mother can then continue the conversation by speaking about Ahl al-Bayt (peace be upon them).

Through this approach, conversations with children become valuable opportunities for teaching and guidance rather than merely passing discussions. Involving children in decision-making also makes them feel that they are influential members of the family. This strengthens their relationship with their parents and makes them more willing to listen to them and be influenced by their guidance.

If you send the next Arabic passage, I can translate it in the same clear, formal academic style.