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2025-04-15 
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First: Be Mindful of Your Posture During the Conversation
Avoid making the dialogue with your child resemble an interrogator questioning a suspect—where you sit while your child stands. Instead, let the conversation feel like one between loved ones. Sit facing each other, maintaining eye contact while exchanging messages. Gentle physical contact, such as placing your hand on their shoulder, chest, or head from time to time, is encouraged. Touch effectively conveys emotional warmth and connection.
Second: Avoid Negative Language During the Conversation
Steer clear of harmful words like “You’re stupid,” “You’re foolish,” or “You don’t understand.” Such language will only push your child to defend their behavior or opinion stubbornly. They may equate abandoning their flawed stance with losing their dignity. Put yourself in their shoes: remember that your child dislikes hearing the same hurtful words you would hate to hear yourself.
Third: Avoid One-Sided Conversations
Effective communication requires interaction between sender and receiver, where both parties switch roles seamlessly. When you speak, you act as the sender, but you also become the receiver by observing your child’s reactions—whether they listen, reject, or engage with your words. A healthy dialogue allows both sides to express and respond equally.
Fourth: Beware of Commanding or Prohibitive Language
Using orders and prohibitions (e.g., “I’ve told you a thousand times to do this!” or “I said don’t do that!”) creates a military-like dynamic of commander and subordinate—unsuitable for nurturing communication. Instead, try replacing commands with calmer, more collaborative language. Notice the difference it makes, and spare both yourself and your child the frustration of endless repetition.
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